Yami no Chikara
by blackfrost09
Summary: Formerly 'The Darkness from Within'. Horo comes home broken because of the the memories that haunt him from earlier that day. What had happened? YAOI, mainly HoroxRenxHoro . Lemon and more in future chapters.
1. Devastation

Hey there! My name is Aoi and this is my first SK fic! You can also consider this as my 1st fic!

Before you start, the song **"Find the Way"** from Gundam Seed will be used here, so if you can, please try to search and download it. If you already have the song or you know its tune, then good for you! I tried to upload it so it'll be easier for you guys to find it, but the yahoo briefcase won't let me! Dang it! I'm sooo sorry!

Disclaimer: oh yeah! I don't own the SK characters.

A favor, please try to feel what Horo feels. Off you go readin, then!

* * *

**Chapter 1... Devastation**

The day was about to end as dusk slowly drained out the sparkles of daylight in the streets. The luminescence was replaced by the sudden soft glow of the street lamps.

The night was slowly bringing happiness into the lit up streets. All seemed just fine and nice. People were happily strolling down the sidewalk, and vehicles are still bustling through the road. The nighttime's pleasures never seem to fail in reaching each person's hearts, until one boy slowly walked through the groups of people.

Gazes from everywhere looked his way, as he stood out. One small aspect was his outfit. He was wearing a black headband, with distinct blue patterns which supported his hair. His hairstyle was spiked in numerous places, having an ice-blue color and a little bit of black hair below his headgear. When the night's radiance touches his locks, it seems as if they were fragile ice, stirring with the soft puffs of the breeze. His clothes had a symmetrical layout on it, which gives a clue to his origin, the North.

The greater aspect is that the tears from his face never cease from coming. No, it couldn't be called as crying, because it should've shown either anger or pain. His eyes are concave. Those 2 blue orbs were staring into oblivion, emptiness. His lips are slightly open, still not recovering from the aftershock, the memories that was just from earlier that day. Those memories brought and still are bringing torment to his soul.

His feet appear to have a mind of their own, taking him through a usual route.

After a few minutes, he arrived at 'his' destination, his home.

The house is a modest one, having two floors and a fair space. Silence greeted him as he entered the front lawn through the gate, with the cold wind blowing across the grass, then to his numb face. Soft luminosity is being emitted from the house, accompanied by sudden voices from time to time.

The Ainu suddenly stopped in the middle of the concrete that led to the door. He was having a hard time in finding the energy within himself to proceed.

A few minutes passed by, and he finally advanced, each step an agonizing one.

His devastated heart proved to be of no help, as it was the source of all his misery at this time. The tears have stopped now, but it doesn't mean that the memories ended in haunting him. He turned the knob and pushed the door open, and was welcomed by a half-annoyed and half-relieved Pirika.

"Onii-san! Ittai doko wa ikimashita desu ka? Mou…Tonikaku, okari nasai!(1)" She ended it with a warm smile.

"Ta..tada..tadaima(2)", Horo's usually energetic voice came out as an extremely hoarse one. He progressed upstairs, to his room. The boy didn't even notice that dinner, one of his favorite times of the day, was waiting for him inside the dining room. He didn't even notice Pirika.

The small hallway of the 2nd floor created soft sounds as Horo passed through them. He came to a stop, halting in front of his bedroom door. Different shades of blue and dimness greeted him as he opened it. His boom box, his P.C., the furniture, the floor carpet, the window curtains, practically everything was from a dark blue - ice blue - sky blue color. Only moonlight that seeped through the window lit the room. His feet are moving by themselves again, taking him to the dark blue bed.

He slowly lay down on top of it on his stomach, head facing to his side, his soft, pale skin making contact with the smooth bed sheets. His cerulean eyes were still barely blinking, and didn't leave the empty space in the air that he was staring at for some time now.

He shifted his position so that he was facing the ceiling. Once more, tears start to dominate his eyes and cheeks unconsciously. The painful images of what had happened flashed by in his mind.

As his mind slowly relived the experience, his breathing increased in speed at the same pace. Each breath he draws is like that of a scythe's slash to his already tattered heart.

A few seconds later he was hyperventilating. His mind is still numb, and isn't realizing that the agony in his chest is rapidly increasing. The bed sheets are now wrinkled all over from his thrashing, his debate whether to choose life or death.

Inhaling, exhaling. When will these signs of life stop? Sweat starts to drip from his forehead, and trails down to his neck. Tossing, turning. No particular position could ease his ordeal. His eyes and silent screams aren't enough for his past to be told. His body arches up, accompanied by a long gasp.

He is at the brink of his sanity. He could feel death's embrace approaching his crumbled form. The trauma he had suffered is taking the best of him. One of his hands clutched his heaving torso tightly, while the other pounded the side of his bed, accidentally hitting the remote control of his stereo.

Music came out from the radio, caressing his ears.

_(3)Doshite kimi wa, chiisa na te de, kizu wo seoou to suru no darou?_

_Dareka no tame dake janai, miushinawanaide_

_Doushite boku wa, mayoinagara, nigedasu koto dekinai no darou?_

_Nozomu no wa, hikari sasu hi wo hi wo_

His breathing is steadily slowing down as the gentle melody continued.

_Find the way kagayaku sora ni te wa todokanakutemo_

_Hibiku, ai dake tayori ni_

_Susunda michi no saki, hikari ga mitsukaru kara_

_You'll find the way…_

Horo finally gained his minimal salvation as he drifted into an uneasy slumber.

* * *

I hope this counts as a cliffie!

Before I forget, the 1st 2 chapters are in the present time, and the 3rd chapter 'till I don't know, will be describing what had happened to him. After that, it will go back to the present time again and head towards from where he left off. Heheh. Here are the translations by the way.

1. "Where the heck/Where in the world did you go/have you been? Mou…(Mou is an expression of annoyance) Anyway, welcome back!"

2. "I…I…I'm home/back."

3. Why do you, with your small hands,

try to carry all these wounds on your back?

It isn't for any one person's sake, please don't lose sight of that

Why am I, while hesitating,

unable to escape?

What I hope for is the sun, the sun to light the way

Find the way

Though in the glowing heavens our hands can't quite reach

We depend on only our resounding love

Because at the end of the path we've traveled we'll find the light

You'll find the way…

The translation, I got from anime lyrics.The lyrics? I listened to the song multiple times until I fully understood the 1st part until the chorus so I could claim the Japanese lyrics above as my own. Please be kind enough to review! Reviews are the only things that will fuel my inspiration at the moment. This is the 1st story I've posted on ff . net. I hope everyone will be nice!


	2. Evanescence

**Chapter 2 – Evanescence**

The sunlight slowly fills the different spaces of Horo's room, making its way through the shade of sorrow that is yet to be eliminated. The soft morning rays touch the boy's pale skin, along with the remnants of pain that is plastered on his countenance. Horo's eyelids slowly flutter open, making cobalt meet with gold. He turns away from the window in which he was facing, and glances towards his digital alarm clock. It says 7:00 am.

"Just in time…" he says in a raucous voice. He takes a look at his clothes, noticing that he still has not changed from his traditional garb. Small groans could be heard as he stretches, his soft bed sheets creating small waves at his movement. Following his daily routine, he decides to take a shower. The Ainu never does smell. Even after a hard, long day filled with P.E. exercises, he still smells the same. The oh-so sweet fragrance of his natural scent rarely goes away.

His feet land on the floor as he sits up on the side of his bed, shoulders slumped and eyes barely open. He stands up, bare feet meeting with the soft, blue floor carpet. He heads to his towel, which was lazily tossed over his computer chair. He takes the towel and proceeds to the bedroom door.

The light-blue door swooshes quietly as he walks out, his bangs bouncing sluggishly over his headband as he did. The sound of soft thuds created by his feet echo gently through the small hallway. Upon reaching the bathroom, he turns the knob, and enters the damp chamber. The lavatory contains only a tub, a faucet that is over it, a mirror next to the door, and a shower hose.(12) He closes and locks the door from behind, and slowly strips himself off his clothing. His tribal top falls down next to him, with his shorts and underwear following after. He stands in front of the mirror, and takes a look at his body. Bruises are stamped all over it, brutally hiding his torso's true complexion. His right hand unconsciously rubs over them, making him hiss at the contact. He gets into the tub and tries to relax at the warm water, but he just couldn't.

Hair dripping wet and wearing only his bathrobe, he walks out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

"Onii-san(1)! Breakfast!" Pirika says as she finishes setting the table.

"Hai…(2)" He replies in a whisper as he dully walks back to his room.

* * *

Moments later, Pirika and their mother were sitting on the table, waiting for a certain boy to join the so-called most important meal of the day. Horo enters the dining room, wearing his Ainu clothing, and his posture unchanging from upstairs. He seats himself, putting his hands on his lap. Pushing aside her worries for now, their mother speaks to break the silence. "Saa te…" 

"Itadakimasu(3)" they all say together.

Their chopsticks clink softly together as they eat. The ice shaman isn't eating with his usual glee, her mother notices, with all that depression radiating from him. "Ne, Horo chan. Doshitano?(4)"

"Nandemonai desu, okasan…(5)" Horo replies, not looking away from his food.

Pirika isn't convinced by this sluggish remark. She looks at Horo with worried eyes. "Demo---(6)"

"Wasurete kudasai(7)" he replies pathetically in an undertone.

Being a persistent person Pirika tries to talk to him once more, only to be held gently on the hand by their mother. The older woman shakes her head, in gesture to not disturb him anymore.

Horo is the first one to stand up, bowl and chopsticks in hand. Pirika casts a worried glance over to Horo's direction. She was worried at what this would do to his brother's health if this keeps on.

The sound of a door closing is what broke Pirika out of her thoughts. Horo already left without his usual wide smile and hearty goodbye.

* * *

The sun shines down its rays to the people who are strolling down the streets. The Ainu walks with his gaze glued to the pavement while his right hand holds the right strap of his backpack. He notices that some people stare at him as they walk by, making him scowl inwardly at them. He hates being stared at if he isn't purposely drawing attention. To him, it's like they're intentionally making him hide his face more. 

He hears someone call out his name but his eyes don't move away from the road. Instead, he quickens his pace and eventually runs when he heard that that certain someone is getting closer.

"OI! Horo! Chotto Matteo!(8)" A boy having chocolate-brown locks gains up on the running Ainu. Horo gave up and just gone back to walking.

"Ohaiyo!(9) Wow! Aren't WE early today?" Yoh said as he throws his silly grin.

"I could ask the same to you" the Ainu defiantly replies. He mentally kicked himself for speaking his thoughts.

"Ehihihi. One word, Anna. Oh yeah! We're planning to hang out on the end of the week. Wanna come?" As Yoh asks this, Horo raises his arm to fix his hair, making the sleeves of his top slightly fall down. "What happened to your a---"

"Urusai.(10)" The Ainu shoots a death glare to Yoh. "Hottoitekure bakero.(11)"

Yoh is taken aback by his reply and stops dead in his tracks. He watches as Horo starts running as fast as he can, eventually disappearing into the next corner.

"Wait. Was he there yesterday when I---". He, too, starts to sprint in an attempt to catch up to Horo, but he miserably fails when he reaches the next curve to find no one.

* * *

Horo was now in front of his locker, trying his best to hide his face from the students that passed. He takes the book and notebook for his 1st subject, science. 

As if on cue, the bell rang as soon as he closes his locker. He didn't notice that all the evading that he did as he entered the school grounds had eaten his time. Good for him the science classroom is only a hall away.

Familiar faces greeted him as he gets in except for the teacher, who, thankfully, isn't there yet. Panting, he scans the room to see if all of 'them' are here. Their classroom had 5 rows and 5 columns of chairs, with the teacher's table in the front as usual.

"Hey Horo! Didn't you get here before I did?" Yoh asked out loud. Ren, who was looking at them, just snorted and turned his head away.

Horo ignores all of this and switches back to his monotonous expression. His seat is in the 2nd column and 4th row from the door, and he proceeds there. Unfortunately, Hao's seat is on the 1st column and 3rd row from the door. This allowed him to get a great view on this malicious prankster, which was not good for the Ainu. Not good at all. Choco's seat is placed behind Horo's. He passesd by the fire shaman and gave him a death glare, only to make Hao grin back.

He puts his book, notebook and pens on top of his desk and sits down. On the floor, that is. Choco had pulled Horo's chair backwards just when he was about to sit. Before that, when the Ainu did try to sit, his bottom slipped off the chair and made him land on the floor. As a plus, his bruised back hit the front of the chair, adding the agony to his already painful body. What's worse is his teacher saw all of it. Almost the entire class laughed their heads off, with Hao's guffaw topping the crowd's.

"Mr. Usui," the teacher manages to gain his repose. "Please get seated on your chair. You should stop your absurd jokes from disrupting our class."

Looking up from the floor, Horo tries to defend his dignity. "B-but." But all that it took for him to give-up was one stare from his professor. "Yes sir." He hurriedly picks up his things and set the misplaced school furniture into the right position.

The class ends as the bell rings, making everybody to get up from their seats. Horo ran to the door quickly, desperate to get freedom from his 1st deathtrap.

"Hey Horo! Wait up!" At the sound of Yoh's voice, his relieved face is instantly replaced with a pained one. The Ainu dashes off to his locker.

* * *

The last three classes took excruciatingly long to pass, and Horo is thankful that it was now recess. 

Afraid to go to the canteen, he instead stays at one of the more isolated halls of the school at this time, namely; the hall near the library, the one near the principal's office and the one near the gymnasium. With the canteen filled with his 'friends' and Hao probably on the roof, all that's left are the hallways to satisfy his solitude, and he decides to go at the one near the gymnasium since it has the nearest restroom.

He enters the restroom and advances to the sink. Images of his memories suddenly flash by his mind in colors of black and white. He starts to pant heavily, and he pushes the door open as he runs outside. Two skimpy dressed girls are walking towards him, and he notices that they're one of the 'popular kids'. Back turned and face hidden from their view, he drinks using the water fountain nearby.

The two schoolgirls stop right behind him and they start to make giggling sounds accompanied by whispers. Horo closes his eyes in pain when the reason behind their girly gestures hit him right in the head.

"Excuse me," the 1st girl said as the other sniggers. "Aren't you that _idiot_ that everyone's been talking about?" A wide smile ends the question.

Horo only shakes his head shamefully and with a look that he is close to crying.

"Yeah that's definitely him!" The two schoolgirls break into a fit of giggles. The bell, yet again, rings, and the Ainu doesn't know whether to thank the bell for getting him out of this situation, or to curse it for leading him into his 4th deathtrap.

* * *

School doors fly open as students come rushing out of the classrooms. Some chat about their assignments, some chat about their planned times at the mall, nearly everyone is happily talking, but not a certain Ainu. Instead, thoughts about the day enter his mind. _2 paged problems due tomorrow, project due next week, please bring this and that, _yada yada yada. You spend time on school using half the time of your day, and then what? It comes taunting you when it's finally over. 

Horo rushes towards the exit of the school grounds, trying to ignore the laughs and whispers the other students make as he passes by.

* * *

Home. Salvation. It is now night. He locked himself up the whole afternoon, and until now. He again, had missed dinner, and decided that ignoring his family would be best for now. Hey, it's better than pouring down your anger on them by cursing them, isn't it? 

All he did when he got home was come up into his azure room immediately and laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. When his digital clock beeps at the mark of 9:00, he stands up in front of his mirror and looks at his reflection. Anger and regret swells up in him like the scorching magma inside of a volcano. He hands ball up into fists, fingernails close to injuring his palms. The mirror breaks into a hundred shards as Horo struck it with his right fist. Blood comes pouring from the said fist, enveloping it with patterns similar to nerves, entwining it with crimson anger that is the essence of his life.

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you_

The rock music comes out from his radio. He fumbles with his drawer and finds a white piece of cloth. He desperately tries to stop the bleeding by covering and pressing the cloth gently to his gashed right hand.

_50 thousand tears I've cried_

_Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you_

_And you still won't hear me_

His face drains out the worry, and realizes that if reality will continue doing this to him, then he might as well find a way to either escape from it or get it done with or both…

_Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself_

_Maybe I'll wake up for once_

The piece of cloth is thrown away carelessly to the floor, and he gets his backpack and places it on the top of his bed.

_Not tormented daily defeated by you_

_Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom_

_I'm dying again_

He opens his closet and drawers that contains his clothes, carries in his arms as much as he could and places them on his bed. Getting the remote of his stereo, he turns up the volume to the max.

_I'm going under_

_Drowning in you_

He rolls them all up and hatefully places them inside the bag, roll of clothing after roll of clothing. The electric guitar, the voice, and the drums fill the room with much loudness, that it might wake the dead. But to the Ainu, it is definitely music to his ears.

_I'm falling forever_

_I've got to breakthrough_

_I'm going under

* * *

_

Pirika's head jerks up from her homework and stomps her way to her door. "Mou. This is ridiculous."

* * *

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies_

_So I don't what's real and what's not_

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head_

_So I can't trust myself anymore_

_I'm dying again_

_I'm going under_

Pirika pounds against her older brother's door. "ONII-SAN! ONII-SAN TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE YOU KNOW! NOT TO MENTION IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!"

But her voice is only drowned out by the music.

_Drowning in you_

_I'm falling forever_

_I've got to breakthrough_

Horo shoots a death glare at the door and zips up his bag. He picks up a black trench coat and hauls it over his body.

_So go on and scream_

_Scream at me I'm so far away_

_I won't be broken again_

_I've got to breath I can't keep going under_

The instrumental part dominates the room as electric guitars and drums now blare deafeningly across the house.

Pirika, now holding a handful of keys, inserts the right one into Horo's keyhole.

The music again softens as a voice sings.

_I'm dying again_

Pirika pushes the door open, only to see no Horo. The music gets loud again as it comes back to the chorus.

_I'm going under_

_Drowning in you_

_I'm falling forever_

_I've got to breakthrough _

_I'm going under_

_Drowning in you_

_I'm falling forever_

_I've got to breakthrough_

_I'm going under…_

The music ends and Pirika, now standing in front of his missing brother'stereo, turns it off. A cold draft sweeps across the room, making the open window's curtains dance with it.

"Onii-san…"

* * *

Yattaze! I've finally finished the 2nd chappie! WHEW! I really didn't know what to do with the school part of it, so sorry if it greatly reeks. Although I had fun writing the last part! Damn it, school sucks! Good thing enemies are not much of an issue. Here's some info about this chapter: 

Evanescence- means 'vanish' or disappearance

The song that I used is entitled 'Going Under' by Evanescence, a cool band! Evanescence were the ones who performed 'My Immortal' and 'Bring me to Life' from Daredevil. Try downloading the song or buying the cd! The songs are awesomely cool! Mostly rock, but there are piano accompanied songs as well. They're the kind of rock that HAS a tune, not like the ones where the vocalist seems to only scream his guts out. And Evanescence vocalist is a girl, with quite a nice voice at that!

Translations:

1. Big brother

2. Yes

3. Kinda like their prayer before eating. Can you believe it? This one word is like already saying grace. Either that or it means "let's eat"

4. Hey, Horo, what's the matter/problem?

5. Its nothing, mother

6. But---

7. Please forget it

8. Hey! Horo! Wait for me!

9. Mornin'!

10. Shut up

11. Leave me alone, idiot.

A tip, don't take bakero too lightly. It serves as their main curse. Its only translated into 'idiot' in animes for the kids, but it has a deeper meaning.

12. It is customary for the Japanese to have a separate room for the bathroom and the toilet. Hard, yes? Sorta, but its kinda their other way of adding the cleanliness to Japan.

Before you read my thanks, I just have one thing to say. If you think the chapter sucked because of the tenses, its Tsuki's fault! (Points a trembling finger at Tsuki) RUN AWAY! runs away while holding a megaphone This should help me talk...

Now, for my gratitude,

**Lady girl-** You gave me my 1st review ever! I thank you so much! It means a hell lot to me! And I'm glad it wasn't a flame! I'm also really sorry for not updating for a long time. And you didn't have to do all of **that**! You know, the kissing and such? I've updated, see? And thank you for calling this a super fic! Even though others won't think so, all that matters isa person'sown opinion, right?

**Meelee- **I do? I hoped for it to be! Thanks! Ahehe don't worry! Ren will do some more showing up soon, and so will the rest of the SK gang!

**Nirah**- Thank you for your kind comments! And you will know what happened to him in the 4th chapter! Wow I'm excited to finish the 3rd one!

**Tsuki Fujibayashi**- Haha nice name! Glad that you even bothered to review! And I'm soooo happy that you thought that Find the Way was a perfect choice for the last chappie! Thank your for your nice remarks, too!

'Don't be too harsh on Horo-kun?' It's like you don't know me at all!

Ugh. My tenses. Its been bothersome for me to write this chappie in the present tense, seriously! I meant that it will tell about the present, not…sigh. Ahehe well at least I finished it, no?

And finish the insane… umm… your fic already!

**BBShadowCat- **Haha! The world must be coming to an end, huh? Funny you should say that…I should really keep my mouth shut. Don't worry! I'll make him eat in the next chappies!

**FallenTruth- **Ahehe you can 'visit' them when you find out who 'they' are in the 4th chappie! But don't kill em now! If you do, a whole chunk of the SK gang will be corpses! But I'm sure you're kind enough not to do it.

**The Earthbound Dragon- **It is? Thank you so much! And sorry if I disappointed you by leaving you with the same chappie when you kept checking it. So, here! Another chappie! The middle part is not that good though…

**Jen-Tao07- **The 4th chappie will tell all, and the 5th chappie will add more! Spirits, powers, someone shut me up, so there! Thanks for reviewing! And can't wait for the sequel to 'Visions'.

**SaturnMax**- Afraid I can't tell yet hehe, but hopefully this chappie has given you some vague clues.

**KittyKalika**- Thanks! I was hoping for it to be! Here! An update that was...not so soon.

Just a reminder, the 3rd and 4th chappies will describe what had previously happened, before the 2nd and 1st chappie. I swear I got the whole story in my head! I'm just being hitstraight-on by laziness...And I promise there'll be a whole lot more in the 5th chappie! Much fantasy coming up. And, more Japanese words! I didn't use much in this chapter because as you have seen, the dialogue was scarce. Also, please tell me if there are any typos so I can fix it.Until next time, then! Oh and please review!

The 3rd Chappie will be dedicated to humour, by the way...


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